We have all had to deal with at least one “negative” person in our lives. The constantly negative person can be one of the biggest threats to our own recovery. I personally know a few people who are very pessimistic and cynical and they can drain our serenity and sense of well-being very quickly if […]
I came across the expression “awfulizing” not long ago. Out of curiousity, I did some research to find out exactly what it meant. The definition, according to psychologists, is “an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, a tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations or perceived threats.” I realized after reading […]
When I first came into recovery, my mind was all over the place. I was unable to organize my thoughts and the feelings that were surfacing were overwhelming. Fear, anger, shame, remorse and bitterness. Fourteen months later, my thoughts have slowed down. I can identify feelings and manage them. This has been made possible through […]
Everyone has heard this expression – not just those of us in recovery but others as well. From my own experience, it is very easy to say but much harder to practice. Many of us often blame our problems (including our addiction) on other people. In my case, it was easier to avoid people and […]
I have come to realize recently that my old habits, particularly the habit of negative thinking, are slowly disappearing. A situation arose this week where I live and I did not react to it the way I would have nine months ago. The “old” me would have gone into a tailspin. I would have been […]
As a perfectionist, I set high standards for myself. When I’m unable to meet these standards, I beat myself up with criticism and judgment. A downfall to this (besides the fact it is terrible for my self esteem), is that I set these standards for others as well. When they fail to meet my standards, […]
We often use anger as a way of getting what we want – it is sometimes much easier to be angry than to stay calm and make our needs known. I have read many times that “venting” is supposed to be healthy, but in reality, it is only a temporary fix. I have found that […]
For those of us who are new in recovery, guilt and shame are common feelings. We may have these feelings for things we have done or things we didn’t do when we were actively drinking or using. We were “guilty” because of bad behavior and the addiction that caused it. We have to keep in […]
Some of us are very good at putting things off – I became a pro at this. I convinced myself that I worked better under pressure and would wait until the very last minute to start something that needed to be done. It was so much easier to focus on the things I wanted to […]
The way we think affects how we experience situations in life, and conversely, the experiences we have had in the past affects how and what we think. It is very common for addicts and alcoholics to have negative thinking, so when we come into recovery, we still harbor self-destructive thoughts about ourselves and the world […]